Growing up as little girls we look at our mom and dad and hope to one day have what they have. We dreamt about these huge, extravagant weddings and we play pretend with our friends. Then you meet the boy next door and become best friends with him; growing up together and playing together in your own world. hide and go seek tags begins to change to secret playdates in the late of night, sitting on the fence looking out into the canyon, sneaking out to find adventures in different places in the neighborhood. Before you know it, we grow up and the adventures lead to first kisses and then one of you moves away.

   Stuck in a place you once thought you knew from one end to another is now completely different. You start to miss your partner in crime, your everything at that age. Then you move away…
You move onto high school, give your heart away to that one guy who became your new world. You knew each other inside and out, shared your fears, your hopes, dreams, and regrets. Snuck out of the house to go see each other, have dates in the late of night on the dock of forgotten lake, moonlit walks around the neighborhood and coming home at 5 in the morning right before your dad woke up for work and having stars in your eyes, butterflies, and the world in your reach. you go to sleep with a smile on your face and dream of him. Before you know it the summer is over and he tells you he decided to go in the Army. Well what do you do then? Your heart is crushed knowing that the endless days of hanging out and messing around are over, you realize you have to be alone again. Three months down the line he comes back but instead of coming home to you, he comes home different and in love with someone else.. devestation.
It’s another end to the world you thought you trusted, a world you thought you stepped into with your eyes and heart wide open. Naive. Crushed to the very being and you fall into yourself.

Lesson 1: Your heart will continously break and be stepped on by those you thought you loved, but you will learn over time that one day there will be someone who won’t walk all over your heart and think nothing of it, but has the capability of doing so.

   So what do you next? You move on, slowly, but nonetheless you move on. First by crawling, then baby steps until you learn to fly again. You guard your heart because you never want to feel like you did before. No amount of ice cream or chocolate, alcohol, tears, and chick flick movies could change what happened. Like a baby bird looking over the edge of the nest before it’s first flight lesson, you evaluate yourself and see how far you’ve come and start to create a new found confidence that you must embrace.

Lesson 2: With self acceptance comes self confidence, appreciation, and self love. Embrace these thing and never let them go, it is how you will survive.

   Six years later, you’re graduation from high school leads you to a starbucks and you run into a face that looked so familiar, like from a past dream you once had. You both realize who you were to one another. Its your old friend from when you were kids. The boy next door is no longer just the boy the door, he’s grown up but still holds that childish charm from before. You exchange numbers and eventually you hang out again. Have a few drinks by the pools and talk about how life has been. He tells you about his girlfriend and you tell him about your stories from family, to heartbreak, to contentness in life. Except this time you know right away that he plans to leave for the air force. Knowing this, you dont get so close but continue to form your bonds. And mid summer he leaves, but not before you finally share that first kiss, the kiss that wouldve happened if he hadn’t moved. The kiss that wouldve changed a relationship between the two if you. But you decide to let things stay where they are now and decide to talk to each other when he returns.

Lesson 3: Friendship, like love, can grow and evolve between two people, so long as they are both willing to work at it.

  Two years in to college and you find yourself with a stable job, working hard in school and getting a new car, new friends, a new life. And you meet someone who interests you, who keeps you guessing, who makes you want to keep fighting for what it is you want. A person who gets you to let your guard down for once, and gets to see the person so many before him never got to see out of fear of getting hurt. You don’t jump in right away but realize that taking slow is the best option and get to know each other before you decide to call it anything. But something inside you makes you feel like this could be something real, different, and comforting. Just exactly what you need.

Lesson 4: You can go through life protecting yourself from getting hurt, but you also need to find a balance and learn to evaluate the outcomes not before you test the water but throughout the entirety of the situation. You may lose something special if you never give it a try.

The rest of the lessons I haven’t quite learned myself. I’ll get back to you.